The Pressures of Parenting

June 2, 2022


Our summer parenting series continues! Keep checking back with us for our team’s amazing insight which covers all kinds of parenting topics! Here is the latest from Vanessa Mackall Lal and Tiffaney Knight.

Vanessa Mackall Lal, Resident in Counseling

Parenting could be considered to be the most important profession known to humanity. As important as the job is, it doesn’t include a one size fits all instruction manual, and in a lot of cases, no actual hands on training. When parenthood came knocking at my door, feelings of joy and excitement rushed to my heart, while seemingly never ending questions raced to my head. Will I be a good parent? What exactly IS a good parent? Will my kid be okay if I ever make a mistake? What if I don’t always know what to do?

When it comes to parenting, “the growth mindset” is a timeless asset. It can be incredibly helpful in guiding anxious parenting thoughts to a place in our mind that embraces the universal highs and lows of growing into parenthood. Holding space for our own parental growth can also encourage any parent to approach parenting with an open mind, and the willingness to try new approaches that we may not have experienced as children. One of the best advantages of the learn as you grow process, is and will always be, watching our kids learn and grow with us.

Tiffaney Knight, Resident in Counseling 

As a child making your parents proud is probably one of your greatest accomplishments and missing the mark is one of your greatest failures. All too often parents don’t realize the underlying pressure they put on their children to succeed especially at school. This underlying pressure can eventually manifest into self esteem issues, anxiety, depression, and so much more. It is important to find a healthy balance of having expectations but also allowing grace when working with your child.

Here are some tips to ease the pressure when it comes to education with your child.

  1. Encourage your child to do their best. Placing the emphasis on doing their best focuses on their effort instead of the end product.
  2. Take your feelings or expectations out of the work your child is doing. Simply talk to them about the sport or subject they’re working on. This allows them to feel seen and heard.

If you find yourself placing too much emphasis on succeeding or perfection in a certain area reflect on why your child’s success matters so much to you. Is it about them or is it about you?

Pressure can produce diamonds but pressure can also burst pipes. Let’s be mindful of how much pressure we put on our children.

We hope you are enjoying our Parenting Series as much as we are! Our team of WISE Clinicians have offered some fantastic insight on all things parenting this month. Stay tuned for more!

Until next time, Be Wise!