Recently, we mentioned that, at The Wise Family, we often use a specialized approach to our work, and the teaching that we do around communication. We are so excited to share it with you that we want to give you the whole thing right now!
But, like anything we do as a family, it is often easier to take things one step at a time. So, we are going to give you the approach, but only focus on one part of it at a time.
♪You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your left hand in…♪
(Below photo credit – @sleepytimecreations)
The approach we use actually focuses on four steps – Wonder, Insight, Strategy, and Expectation. Many people ask us why the first step isn’t Wisdom, or Wise – like our name – and we explain that it is a lot to expect of folks to have wisdom before they have even figured out what the heck is going on!
So the “W” stands for Wonder. As in Wonderful – Wonderment – Wonder Woman (Ok, that’s two words, but did you see the movie yet? Fantastic!).
Wonder means to desire or be curious to know something.
And having a sense of wonder means —
“To experience a feeling, a surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.”
What a wonderful word ‘WONDER’ is. So when we approach a problem that a child or parent shares with us, this is how we begin the process of thinking about it. We wonder.
A Mom shared with us, via the WISE FAMILIES Facebook page that, earlier in the week her daughter had a bad tantrum. This is what she said,
“My daughter had a bad tantrum today. I picked her up from school. She asked someone for a playdate, and they said no, but maybe tomorrow. So I suggested we go shopping for shoes. So we went, and both tried on shoes, which was okay for a while. Then she wanted to leave, and she put the shoes I was about try on back in the box, and started pulling me one way when I wanted to walk the other way. I tried reasoning with her at her eye level and suggested we play follow the leader, which didn’t work. She does this thing where she drops to the floor on her knees, and then says, “You’re mean!” Like it was my fault when she’s the one that did it to herself. So I agreed to leave because it was embarrassing and impossible to keep shopping with her acting like that. It took a couple minutes to get in the carseat, and we drove home. Then she started having a full blown tantrum in the carseat in the garage! I was afraid she’d kick me with her shoes on, so I unbuckled her, carried her in the house and then she takes her tantrum out on me! She finally calmed down, but how could I possibly have avoided, or prevented this from happening in the first place?”
Sound at all familiar? What might have happened if Mom had WONDERED about how her daughter felt after the friend couldn’t have a play date? What might have happened if, instead of trying to solve the “problem” right away – if a problem even existed in the first place – she had taken a few moments to WONDER?
See how just the act of taking the time to WONDER opens up the space to discover something “beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable”?
Practice WONDERING a lot this week! Make the statement, “I WONDER…” as often as possible, and see what spaces open up for you and for your family.
We will be WONDERING how it is going for you, and if you want to share, HIT REPLY on this email and let us know!
We are WAITING – ok, that’s enough W for one day! Happy Wednesday! Ha Ha!